Thursday, July 31, 2008

I'm avoiding going to bed

...can you tell? I talked Golf Guy out hours ago, since then I've been watching various YouTube offerings. My favorite is Bette Midler's final tribute to Johnny Carson.

I dare you to watch this one without crying! And yes, I realize I'm posting a preposterous amount of videos lately.

Suck it up.

Is this what passes for Muzak these days?

I unfortunately had to spend a good amount of time in my local bank branch today in a (probably futile) attempt to solve a problem. While I was there this song from Evanescence was being modestly pumped out over the loudspeakers as though it were a perfectly mainstream selection. I thought they were insane...until I saw the 70+ year old fellow who was waiting before me happily tapping his toe to the tune.


UPDATE: In response to inquiries - I'll only say that it was Bank of America, I won't rat out the branch and in case some super sleuth quizelles it out - everyone waiting seemed perfectly happy regardless of the music selection.

UPDATE II: Problem totally solved. Awesomely solved. In fact, I am in awe of the efficiency of the solution. It cost me time (but waiting to jazzy tunes!) and anxiety but not an arm and a leg (yeah, we're poor enough that an overdraft penalty means tuna for a week). Love you Bank of America!

UPDATE III: Okay, I was closing a savings account w/ auto deposit. Spoke to three people on the phone: regular person, slightly more informed regular person, supervisor. You'd think it'd be just that "easy". Nope. A month later I was looking at a negative balance (due to service charges due to canceling direct deposit on " closed" account ) on an account that I'd closed and penalties. KUDOS to my bank VP for telling me that "the problem is that the first guy you spoke to was an idiot". No, SERIOUSLY, he said that!!! It then took him a week to straighten all the charges and penalties. BUT HE DID IT! For little old me, hardly their biggest depositor. Heck, my balance is a little above zero at the end of each pay period, but he took the time to help me. Killing me not to name him and give him the recognition that he deserves. I'll settle for :

Thank you Bank of America!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Making a birdhouse in your soul

Is it really a happy song? Not sure but not to put too fine a point on it, it makes me happy. And, since I'm turning over a new happy leaf in August, I choose for it to be a happy song.

As I wish. (Eh, random bastardized movie quote. What can I say? I'm in a mood.)

Cat Fight

Pick your favorite: Princess Chunk the 44 pound homeless fat cat OR Jesus kitty?

I'm pretty certain that Princess Chunk could take Jesus in a fight.

UPDATED: Jesus cat calls in a Cheeto for backup: Cheesus


Oh, go ahead and laugh! I'm pretty sure He has to have a truly excellent sense of humor. (Otherwise how do you explain Cheesus?)

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

The Montauk Monster

Here's the story about the Montauk Monster.

I've seen a turtle sans shell (pre soup), that's no turtle.

What do you think it is?

Personally I don't know, I just know that I don't want to run into a live one in a dark alley.

"What if a demon were to creep after you one night, in your loneliest loneliness, and say, 'This life which you live must be lived by you once again and innumerable times more; and every pain and joy and thought and sigh must come again to you, all in the same sequence. The eternal hourglass will again and again be turned and you with it, dust of the dust!'

Would you throw yourself down and gnash your teeth and curse that demon? Or would you answer, 'Never have I heard anything more divine'?" ~
Friedrich Nietzsche

So? Have you ever heard anything more divine or are you cursing and gnashing?

Adjust your life accordingly before that demon washes up on your beach.

Water on Mars!

I'm not old enough to remember the moon landing so excuse me if I find this to be a most awesome space related discovery.

In a discovery that could qualify as one of the most important in the history of space exploration, NASA’s Phoenix Mission may have confirmed the presence of water ice on the planet, Popular Mechanics has learned. The scheduling of a press conference for Thursday at 2 p.m. Eastern by NASA and the University of Arizona has raised hopes in the space community that scientists will announce the breakthrough. When pressed for details, a spokesperson for the agency’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory refused to elaborate beyond saying that the Phoenix team would unveil new findings from the ongoing robotic mission to Mars. If the rumor holds true, it would be the first direct confirmation of water ice beyond Earth.

Too cool! (Pun intended.)

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Florida Sunshine Laws

Note to ignorant TV commentators (I'm looking at you FOX News):

It can't be called a "leak" if the state is required to release the information.

Here's hoping that Caylee Anthony is found alive and well.

Good riddance to bad rubbish

Alaska Senator Ted Stephens has been indicted on corruption charges.
It's about damned time. Resign now, Ted!

Oh, did you notice the lack of respect in the way that addressed him not just by his first name but ignoring his title as well? Lack. Of. Respect.

Do the decent thing, Ted, resign now and give your party time to put up a good candidate for November.

People like Senator Stephens (he of the Bridge to Nowhere fame) have been pushing fiscally conservative voters like me out of the Republican party for some time now. I fully expect Senator John McCain (a fiscal conservative himself) to jump on excoriating Stephens, and if/when he does, good for him.

Shocked because I sorta complimented McCain? I don't blame you. But although I'm not a fan of Senator McCain I will give him credit where credit is due. He does talk a good game when it comes to fiscal conservatism.

Here's wishing the people of Alaska the best of luck in filling Ted's seat with a decent human being. Whether a Republican or Democrat, I'll be happy with more fiscal conservatives in Congress. I'm not partial to any particular party at this point.

Saturday, July 26, 2008

Drunken elk meets sorry end after toddler attack

No, seriously. That's even the original headline.

"Extreme Makeover: Home Edition" - Fail

An extreme home makeover, a mortgage pay off and $100,000 cash? But 3 years later they're facing foreclosure.

Oh, please! And yeah, take my tax dollars to finance their mortgage bailout. Misled, my ass.

Boy bites dog

Dog bites boy, boy bites back.

Friday, July 25, 2008

Italy to run Alligator Alley?

Charlie Crist has lost his damned mind.

As a life long Florida resident, and formerly proud Republican, I STG if John McCain picks Crist as his running mate I will:
  1. Change my registration to something other than Republican (to what, I have no idea),
  2. Personally campaign (door to freaking door) for Barack Obama,
  3. Do everything I can as a former Republican blogger to defeat John McCain in November

No, seriously. I'm not joking.

We may as well run the whole damned party into the wall if it's a McCain/Crist ticket.

Hit it hard! I don't want to walk away from this one.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

"How can I control my life when I can't control my hair?"*

The good news is that I don't look like Posh Spice (that was a joke!) but the bad news is that I skipped the haircut. There were transportation issues that I simply wasn't motivated enough to overcome. It's just as well as I still haven't picked out a hairstyle and the last thing I want is a hairstylist (and a stranger at that) talking me into something freaky.

I think I may try again on Monday while Golf Guy is taking his PAT.

*Quote lifted from an unknown comedienne. Lynne Koplitz, maybe?

Saturday, July 19, 2008

At times like this...

What is it about emotional trauma that makes a woman want to go out and get a drastic haircut? Yeah, I haven't had my hair cut professionally in YEARS (at least 10) but I think I'm heading to the mall tomorrow to have it all chopped off. Don't mock the mall salon. Tomorrow is Sunday, where else can you get your hair cut on a Sunday? (My hair hasn't been professionally cut in years but now it has to be taken care of tomorrow?! Dunno.)

Right now my hair is just a couple of inches past my shoulders, up from near middle of my back at the beginning of the year - cut it myself, as always. HA! It looks HORRIBLE. Fat chicks should not have wavy shoulder = double chin length hair. It is NOT complimentary. Way to broaden that silhouette!

I think if I screw up my courage tomorrow I'll go just below my chin (but professionally layered in such a way that I don't look like a mushroom).

It's not that I'm squeamish about cutting my hair or short hair, not at all. I've had some pretty damned drastic haircuts in my day, (but I was thinthinthin then...and young!).

Golf Guy doesn't want super short. (The way it was when we met? Ahem.)

I just want something that doesn't get in my damned way during the next 4 months while I shed 50 pounds. (Yeah, that's my goal.)

My big bugaboo is having some stranger touch me. Just the thought of someone being within my PERSONAL SPACE long enough to give me a decent haircut gives me the heebeejeebees. I don't like people touching me. I REALLY don't like strangers touching me.

Not to mention having to make polite conversation all that time. I just don't think I have it in me.

Okay, gotta stop because all this post is doing is giving me a million and one reasons NOT to get a PROFESSIONAL haircut tomorrow. G-d forbid tomorrow morning I chicken out on the PROFESSIONAL part and end up in front of my OWN MIRROR AT HOME with a photo of Posh Spice and a pair of scissors.  (The tattoo? I guess I'll just have to grab a Bic pen. Classy!)

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Dogs' lives are too short.

Their only fault, really.

Baloo Stripling

August 1992 to July 2008

We love you and miss you.

Sunday, July 6, 2008

Asparagus with lemon butter and anchovies

Doesn't that just sound like the best thing EVER?! The next time I head to the grocery store I'm picking up the ingredients for this:


Cooking time: 10 minutes; preparation time: 5-10 minutes; feeds 4

2 bunches asparagus

12 anchovies

2 cloves garlic, crushed

100g butter

Zest and juice of half a lemon

A small handful of parsley leaves, roughly chopped

1 tbsp extra virgin olive oil

About 4 tbsp medium-grated parmesan

Snap off the bases from the asparagus, about an inch from the bottom where you can feel a natural give. They will snap off easily at the right place. Put the spears in an asparagus steamer or upright in a tall, narrow saucepan with a few inches of water. Steam for 4-5 minutes or until they feel a little under-cooked. They will cook a little more on the chargrill so don't overdo them.

Meanwhile, melt the anchovies in the butter over a low heat with the garlic, stir in the lemon zest and juice and keep warm. Coat the asparagus in the olive oil and chargrill on a high heat until they look nicely charred in places and tender.

Put on hot plates, season with freshly ground black pepper and pour over the anchovy dressing. Sprinkle with the parmesan and chopped parsley and serve. This is delicious served with a poached egg for each person and bread to mop up the dressing.

:: drool ::

I'll let you know how it turns out.

Read the commentary for serving suggestions, (fresh fish!), via the TimesOnline.

UPDATE: Just returned from the local grocery store - no asparagus. Are we past asparagus season? I swear I just saw it in a different store last week. I considered canned asparagus for about 2 seconds. No, that just won't work.

Saturday, July 5, 2008

There otta be a law

Is this child abuse? At the very least it's criminally stupid.

Butt cleavage


Who's a pretty boy? Boo is!

Charlie Crist "says" he's getting married?

That's a weird way to announce an engagement, don't you think? But it's the actual phrasing of the headline on the website of the St. Pete Times: " Florida Gov. Crist says he's getting married". Gee, you'd think that they're suspicious that it's some jaded political ploy or something. In their defense Charlie is frequently a fiance and rarely a groom. Crist has been engaged 5 times and married only once (and that lasted a short 6 months).

Though I wish the couple happy many happy years together I can't help but wonder Charlie will get another case of cold feet if John McCain is defeated in November.

Sorry, do I sound like I think it's a foregone conclusion that Crist will be McCain's VP pick?

I do.

Jalapeno on a stick

This headline on the Drudge Report "Jalapeños Probed in Outbreak" made me giggle because it reminded me of comedian Jeff Dunham's Jalapeno on a Stick.

Here's video proving that probing jalapenos can be pretty funny.

Mariachi etiquette

Golf Guy and I rarely make it out of the house for dinner. The occasional breakfast? Yes. A sometime lunch? Maybe. But dinner? I honestly can't remember the last time we had "a date night". It just Never. Happens. So when I was so bold as to insist that he take me out to dinner last night he could hardly say no. Where to? The best Mexican restaurant in town, El Norteno - it's cheap, authentic and tasty.

Did I mention that the best part of having dinner with my husband is the conversation? Yeah, we talk a lot. A. LOT. It's one of the things we look forward to each evening - just catching up.

Anyway, last night: combine one authentic Mexican restaurant and...a mariachi band? Mariachi bands are loud, very loud. That equals no conversation at all, and frankly I'm STILL rather uncomfortable from the experience.

Seriously, what is the etiquette for a dinner time serenade? My order arrived just as the mariachi band got to our table and we all know that the beans and cheese are best when they're hot, right? But now there's a 4 man band standing there. Singing to me. And it was some incredibly romantic song since they apparently decided that Golf Guy and I were dating rather than having been together for nearly 20 years.

So while I'm being serenaded, do I get to dig into my Chile Colorado or do I smile politely as my food gets cold? I finally decided to enjoy the present (translated: revel in Golf Guy's discomfort) and postpone the eating for the moment. (Mm hm: cold beans.) This is making a memory, right?

Oh well, I won't remember those beans in week but hopefully I'll remember those awkward and uncomfortable moments with Golf Guy forever.

Friday, July 4, 2008

About Me

Living in Florida, 40 years old, happily married to Golf Guy (not his real name and, as you may have guessed, in the golf business).

We have one cat, Baxter. His real name is Bastard, the cat I mean, not my husband. We try not to call him that in polite company but trust me, he worked hard to earn that moniker. He's a good kitty most of the time but when he's bad, he's very, very bad.

Anyway, I'm a reformed political blogger. I was at it hot and heavy for four years and then one day, not very long after John McCain won the Republican nomination, I deleted my political blogs in fit of pure spite. Of course, I have no idea who I was actually spiting.

A few months later I've discovered that giving up politics is hard but giving up blogging is even harder. I have no idea what this blog will be about. Mostly it's here to serve as an outlet for my snark.

minimally me @ gmail DOT com

©2009 Minimally Me | by TNB